These were the words a friend of mine asked me during one of our girls night… and I responded by covering my eyes with both of my hands and curling into a ball.
There it was. Shame. Helping me react the way I have always known how to react.
Hiding.
Avoiding.
Trying not to be seen.
Because it feels easier than being vulnerable.
I find it incredibly difficult to process and explain my pain to those around me, but I am learning that I have to try if I want to break out of these toxic cycles of shame, fear, and control.
I always knew I struggled with fear, but it wasn’t until recently that I found out a lot of the root of my fears come from shame.
In this season, the Holy Spirit is bringing healing by exposing and uncovering deep-rooted things my eyes cannot see, and He is doing it through the process of vulnerability in community.
January 7, 2026 | A.G. Ayuen