of living in the middle of a mess…
this beautifully layered mess that is my life.
And I still don’t know what I am doing.
These past 26 years have been a whirlwind of
learning and unlearning, growing and dying.
And this year has taught me the most.
That I don’t have it all figured out and I probably never will.
As a recovering perfectionist that is both comforting and very frightening.
For the last 9 months I have been in a “season” of transition.
A season where everything has looked like barren land.
A season where all of my steps have felt like wandering in desert sand.
A season of praying, crying, laughing, striving, trusting, doubting, and waiting.
Waiting to be strengthen by His hand and comforted beyond what I can understand.
Waiting in my weakness because His strength always comes.
Waiting in brokenness for the touch of the physician’s thumbs.
In all those years and in this season I am in what I have realized is this…
That I may truly never understand It all.
The pain.
The mess.
The plan.
The process.
This life. I guess.
But I can let go of all of this and and hold on to who He is.
I can give Him my messy life because He has already given me His perfect sacrifice.
And it is not too late for you to do so as well.
-AGOKOGA
